A few weeks ago I had a connection on LinkedIn reach out to me to ask how I was doing with my job search. This connection was a fellow Flatiron Alum, but otherwise not somebody I knew personally. You’re likely aware that this isn’t an uncommon practice on LinkedIn, and it’s usually not something people do without a motive. I have yet to meet anybody who’s on LinkedIn for earnest socializing the way they might be on Instagram or Facebook. People generally use LinkedIn to get ahead in their career; to meet that valuable connection in their industry, to get advice from a senior, or to hock their upwork pyramid scheme. To be clear, there’s nothing wrong with this practice (except maybe the last one), it’s the whole point of the website, and I always respond politely and do the dance. After all, I’m just as often the one reaching out blind!
So there I was, doing the dance. “Just working on projects and pounding the pavement! How about you?” and whatnot, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Eventually it does, and he wants me to introduce him to a connection I have. The connection is a gatekeeper for a job posting he saw, a coveted junior dev position. You, dear reader, might know full well how uncommon and competitive these postings are. He certainly did, because the next thing he said really stuck with me.
“or maybe you should just reach out to her and have her pass your resume to their recruiter and tell me to buzz off lol”
I sat with that for a moment, because it took me completely off guard. My first thought was that it was a strategically poor play on his part. Coming from sales, you never invite somebody to discount you, or volunteer an idea that works against your interest. But that thought was quickly dispersed by a sense of empathy, because really he and I are not really in competition. None of us are.
A lot of America work culture is opportunistic. We’re (falsely) raised to believe that you have to step on somebody else to get ahead, that you have to be ruthless, cutthroat, that it’s “just business”. A lot of bootcamp graduates isolate after graduation, not sharing their insights, job postings or advice with their cohort for fear of losing out on an opportunity to somebody they came up with. And it’s not an irrational fear. Because the postings are sparse, a lot of times you’ll be going up against your whole cohort for one position because the ecosystem isn’t all that big at the junior level.
The thing is, it doesn’t have to be like that. In fact, it’s more rewarding when it’s not. Of course I could have taken this fellows advice and stolen that connection for myself. I could have reached out to the gatekeeper, left his name out of it and gotten ahead, survival of the fittest style. But I didn’t. I reached out and introduced him, and made myself known in a postscript. I applied too, because why not? At the end of the day, if the job’s mine, it’s mine. And if it’s his, there’s nothing I can do about that… and guess what? Now if he gets it I have a connection at that company for next time who might remember the kindness I did him. People remember how you conduct yourself, and if you act with empathy and kindness, before you know it you have a vast network of people waiting to pay it forward. Alternatively, you could have folks all over town who remember when you “told them to buzz off” when they asked for help. It’s entirely up to you.
